Friday, January 23, 2009


Multiple Choice Test

You get into your car at the end of the work day and a smell like a decomposing mammal emanates from the front seat of the car. The smell is so bad that all the interior paint has melted and dripped onto the floor. Opening the windows wide and turning the A/C to high makes no impression on the smell. As you drive down the highway, other drivers, including some from third-world countries whose last transportation was a burro, are yelling obscenities and holding their noses. It’s because:

(1) It was your turn to drive the carpool and you’ve just had five 12-year-old boys in the back practicing for the 2009 Smelliest Fart Nationals after a big meal of Meat Lovers pizzas and milkshakes.

(2) A possum climbed into your teenager’s lost athletic shoe under the front seat and died from the toxic environment – so, there IS a dead mammal somewhere in the car.

(3) You have a new part-time job doing the laundry for the Thrashers and all those nasty layers of sweaty clothing from last night’s game are marinating in the back seat.

(4) Your spouse's body is in the trunk, secured with lengths of discarded Noro Kureyon. That'll teach him to ask you "Are you sure you need more yarn? Don't you think you have enough?" (for the 73rd time).

(5) You bought a 2 ounce hunk of aged gorgonzola cheese at the DeKalb Farmers Market.

Do I need to tell you the answer is (5)?

And do I need to tell you that I took it home, put it in the refrigerator (right next to the industrial-sized open box of Arm and Hammer), and got up in the middle of the night for cheese and crackers? Man, it was tasty! I’m ready to go back.

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