We Hate These Socks

And when I say "we," I mean, of course, my sister Debbie and me. We, the collective, universal, royal We, hate these socks. These hellish, tiny, microgaugish things are the Ravelry Mystery Sock for July, and, in a burst of sisterly love and affection, I talked Debbie into knitting them together, 600 miles apart.

Sorry, Debbie! I'm an idiot. Even if you don't hate them, and you might not, because you're a lot farther along on them than I am, I'm still sorry.

Yeah, she's farther along because she didn't tear hers out three times because (1) there was a glitch in one of the increase stitches on one side that, let's face it, no one would ever see unless I have the misfortune to get mixed up with a foot fetishist; (2) the middle size was going to be WAYYYY too big for my size 10s at 84 stitches; and (3) I can't even remember why I took it out once but I know I did. Just got a wild thread up my sock, probably.

I hereby promise you that I'll never again suggest that it might be oh, so much fun to knit a pair of socks on size 00 needles using thread and insisting on 10 stitches to the inch. Of course, poor eyesight runs in the family, but it really wasn't necessary for me to encourage the two of us to go blind together on this wicked sock. I'm picturing us, dark glasses and white canes akimbo, sitting in matching rockers in The Home, knitting garter scarves with bulky yarn on Size 17s because that's the only size we can manage.

On the other hand, Debbie, check out the Arrow Tip Lace Knee Highs in the new Cast On. It's toe-up, lace, and you certainly wouldn't have to knit the whole thing--I can tell you right now that I'm not wearing any knee length socks but it's really pretty ....

And, by the way, let me say it's not that easy to knit a teeny tiny sock when you have cactus spines stuck in your thumb, so whine, whine, whine.

But, speaking of funny socks and being totally out of the loop--well, I think it's obvious that I'm out of the loop, that's not exactly news--Thong Socks, AKA Flip Flop Socks. Here's a fun pattern by Sivia Harding in case you're as OOTL as I am. Once again the Lovely and Talented Debbie knew about this before I did--she reminded me that only Old Ladies (which seems to include me) wear hose these days.

Finally, Ms Packrat was kind enough to comment about my rather frightening car trunk. But how scary is it that Ms Packrat, who is evidently a woman of Great Knowledge of Weird Things (and we really like people like that!), knows what month Amelia Earhart and Jimmy Hoffa disappeared? Ms P, do you feel a conspiracy theory coming on? I think there's a short story in there somewhere.

And to think I wanted to live in Arizona ...

Haiku:

Dumb southern gringa
Thought cactus was her friend. No.
Tweezers please now. Ow.

Is It Any Wonder I Never Finish Anything?

One of my goals for this weekend is to clean out my car--well, I'm not going to get it all done because the trunk is horrific! But I got a good start and it's been an amazing view into My Life And What's Wrong With It.

Somewhere in the southeast quadrant of my trunk, I saw what appeared to be a project bag--not one of my favorites or I'm sure I'd have missed it long ago. Inside: one almost complete sock, instructions for said sock, yarn for the second sock, two sets of DPNs, and a book.

Anyway, back to the sock. It's gorgeous--how could I have forgotten it? It's obviously Mountain Colors and only needs the toe kitchenered. Then the other sock needs to be knit. All the size 1 and 2 bamboo DPNs are there, unscathed, which is a miracle in itself. More to the point, the pattern, almost pristine except for a few wrinkles in its plastic sleeve, includes all my careful little notes about how I changed the pattern:

The sock is Jeanie Townsend's Cascading Leaves pattern. The yarn is gorgeous, the pattern is there, the needles are with the project. Anyone want to take odds on whether I ever finish this pair of socks?

Ever done an archeological dig? I took a couple of archeological history classes in college and one of the things you learn is that you can date the age of an unknown object by the things around it in the same strata. For instance, a penny with a date on it of 1924 means that the piece of pottery buried next to it probably probably wasn't buried before 1924. Anyway, the book contains a receipt (for sushi at Ru-San's if it matters) dated 1/14/06.

This sock has been sitting in my trunk since January '06. I'm so easily distracted that, in all that time, I've never once thought to myself, "wonder whatever happened to that Mountain Colors sock?" Until today, I'd completely forgotten it.

Oh, my. Wonder what else I'll unearth? Hope Jimmy Hoffa and the Lindbergh baby aren't in there somewhere....

Birthdays ... we got birthdays ...

My baby's birthday is today and she's ... oh, never mind, I'm not going to tell you how old my youngest daughter is. If I did, you'd have to do the math, and then it would be ugly. So let's just say, Happy Birthday, Jen! You're still my baby.

And here's Cooper. He's my older daughter's youngest child--confusing? Sorry. His third birthday was last week and he still thinks it's fun to tell people how old you are. I had a great time in Charlotte with both daughters and all their kids and significant others and you get the picture. I hate being so far away from them.

Lace-cation continues ...

But we have socks, and that's a good thing. Here are the Opal Rendez-Vous socks (yarn from The Yarn Grove girls).

And here's the Ravelry July Mystery Sock (Panda Silk from The Knitting Emporium). This is a microguage sock, 10 st to the inch. The needle is a 00 Hiya Hiya. I'm behind, of course, still on Clue 2 of 4. Then there's that pesky second sock problem, but there's time to worry about that later. In the meantime, the microguage means that my poor eyes are hating life and I've got even more squint lines where I don't need them. My lovely and talented sister Debbie and I are working on this knitalong together, although I haven't seen progress yet. Knowing her, she's already finished!

Finally, my do-anywhere-with-your-eyes-closed socks, Austermann Step. This is the stuff that's supposed to contain Aloe, and maybe it does. If so, I can't tell, and the striping is pretty if a little repetitive. But it's a nice yarn to knit with, and the socks will feel good. And since I seem to be in a blue period (when I'm not in a red or a green period), the yarn fits into my current color philosophy. And, believe it or not, it's from stash. What's that about?

Speaking of stash, I need to be organizing it and using it. With prices going up and my income going down, we're spending a lot more carefully here in the Pug household. When our grandson moves out later this month, we'll feel another pinch. So, we're using coupons and loyalty cards and scrutinizing price vs service a lot more carefully. I saw a meter on someone's blog today that showed yards knit from stash this year--my meter would be chugging along like The Little Engine That Could, because I tend to get all ADHD and buy new stuff because it's calling my name. (Do you think I feel guilty because two new yarns from Only Ewe and Cotton Too jumped in my bag recently? Nope--I never feel guilty about buying from yarny friends.)

And for the fish lovers.... I think I mentioned that about three weeks ago we added a bunch of feeder goldfish to the pond. They've been a very successful addition, and we've only lost one or two in that time. They're growing and thriving. And the two missing Koi returned...Mr. Big and Biggy Small. So, here's feeding time at the zoo, as it were. The goldfish are distinguishable from the others because they're... well, they're goldfish, even the three black ones. The Koi are the bigger ones, white with orange and black markings. Mr. Big is at the bottom left, and Biggy Small is near the bottom in the center.

Your Best Friends WILL Tell You

Yup, thank God for friends who will tell me the truth. At least about my knitting.


Just to review, things you want your friends to tell you:

• Wow! Have you lost weight? You look great!
• OMG, your hair looks fabulous--great cut and color. Nope, I don't see any roots at all.
• No, it's not you. It really IS hot in here.
• I'm sure you're going to get a great job, very soon.
• Your husband didn't really mean it when he said you have too much yarn.
• Yes, when you leave him [so you can be alone with your stash], we'll still be here for you.

Things your friends should never say:

• What were you thinking? You already have a lot of yarn.
• I just ran into your husband leaving the Motel 6 with his assistant. Wow! She's really young, isn't she?
• Your dog is so ugly it's almost cute.
• That color [of the garment you just spent a month making] makes you look greenish, and not in a good way.
• Have you thought about wearing a foundation garment to fix that?

Things you'd rather not hear but need to:

• Your gauge is off. That lace thingie is going to be WAY too small. You need to tear it out and start over.

And at least one of my friends did just that. Thanks, Ellen. (As for Pat and Debra, I appreciate your kindness and concern for my delicate self-esteem.)

Now, for the record, I'm out of the lace knitting business temporarily. I'm too stressed and anxious and crazed for lace, which requires at least a modicum of attention and a lot of concentration, not to mention time. I'm deeply envious of the lace my friends are making but I decided I wouldn't put myself in the position of starting a new piece of lace and then not being able to finish it.

BUT ... Bad Cat Summer Sampler. Hmmmm ... not too complex, not too big, several patterns to keep my ADHD mind attentive, clues are somewhat repetitive but pretty. Okay, I can do that one.

First, I broke my own rule and knit a gauge swatch. (Is that the sound of the world coming to an end?) So, sue me, I knit a swatch. Andrea (designer) calls for needle size 1-4, yarn is Lacey Lamb. First, Lacey Lamb is, let's just call a spade a spade, thread. Beautiful soft thread, but definitely thread. Cobweb. But the color--sort of a Jade? Perfect.

So, I'm a little concerned because the swatch is about 3 inches, call it 3.5 stretched, and the designer says the sampler will be 3.4 times the size of the swatch. So, 3.5 X 3.4 = 11.9 inches. I guess I can live with that. It'll be more scarf than shawl but okay. The swatch is on 3s, because I knit tight. Looks fine--okay, try the sampler on 3s. Sampler looks like a big, ugly, mess of loose stitches. Definitely ugly with a capital UG. What will it look like once it's blocked? Poot! Frog.

Cast on again, this time with 1s. By the way, why does this Susan Bates 1 look like a sewing needle compared to my Addi Turbo 1? Whatever happened to consistent needle sizes? But, anyway, it looks okay--great stitch definition. But, unstretched it's 8 inches. And it's so tight I can't imagine how much more it's going to stretch. Pull it to its farthest reaches, and it's about 9.5 inches. Now it's going to be a shawl for an American Girl doll.

Take it to Noble Knitters. Compare it to Ellen's, made of Malabrigo lace. Why am I not using Malabrigo Lace? Am I an idiot? Hers is gorgeous, with beautiful stitch definition, and beautiful on 4s.

Compare it to Pat's, Lacey Lamb on 1s. Normal sized. Beautiful stitch definition, stretches to a normal size. I am an idiot.

Poot! Frog. (Wait, don't frog, it's way too pretty to frog. Save in case I ever want to just fondle it.)

Cast on again, this time on 2s. (Addi this time--those Susan Bates sewing needles are on my list!) All right. Now, we're talking. Somewhat less stitch definition, but stretchable, blockable, you know what I mean. Unstretched it's about 11 inches. I think it can be blocked to about 14 or 15. With a border, it might be wearable. But still more scarf than shawl, especially for a woman of my, er, Juno-esque proportions.

So, thanks for your honesty. But ... this explains why I took a vacation from lace. A lace-cation as it were.

Is It Just My Imagination?

Or is an awful lot of the really creative design and knitting being done now in cyberspace, instead of in paper publications? Now, I'm a dedicated book person who is never going to give up books--I'm hooked on reading and looking at the pictures and using them for reference--but I'm amazed at how much creativity is available in new forms.


Right now, I subscribe to four knitting magazines (Knitter's, Vogue Knitting, Cast-On, Interweave Knits) and one spinning magazine (Spin-Off). (Okay, I know I don't technically know how to spin, but it's like reading Weight Watchers magazine...maybe if I read about it, I won't have to actually count points. Of course, let's look at the record...can't spin, not losing weight. The theory may have a few yarnovers.) I often read Knitting, and sometimes Simply Knitting, both British mags, and occasionally Creative Knitting. That's a lot of knitting magazines!

But ...

I can't tell you the last time I knit something from one of the first three mags. I'm actually embarrassed for the editors sometimes when I look at the patterns. What in the world were they thinking, I say to myself? You can't beat Cast-On for technical information, especially if you, like I, think longingly of completing the Master Knitter Program, but the magazine's patterns usually leave me cold. My current toe-up sock is a variation on Ann Budd's On Your Toes pattern from IK, and I'm actually thinking of making the Jackie Erickson-Schweitzer scarf on the cover of the most recent Spin-Off, so I won't say I don't get inspired reading them. But the reality is that most of the knitting that inspires me is from my computer.

Ravelry. OMG...there are a million young designers publishing on the net in one form or another and most of them are showing their patterns on Ravelry. Who didn't make Kiri, for instance? Or Jaywalker Socks? Romi's Muir? Clapotis? Or Monkey or Ponatomous Socks? (Well, actually I didn't make the last four, but I wanted to, and that should count for something. See note above about counting points.)



In fact, if there's a trend here, I think all those patterns came from Knitty, although I could be wrong about the Jaywalkers. But they're definitely net-based, and were a huge cult project a couple of years. But back to Knitty: Knitty is an incredible resource--I am notoriously NOT a baby stuff knitter but I've got yarn for a couple of recent projects in my stash for the lovely Ruby.

And all the really fun lace knitting right now is happening on the Yahoo knitalongs: Casablanca, Mystery Shawl, the Goddess shawls, the Bad Cat Designs sampler, the Mystic series shawls. All my friends are knitting lace and all those patterns are coming off the internet, most at no cost, but some with a nominal cost. The last two I actually completed were Mystery Stole 3 and Hanami--both from the same designer, Melanie Gibbons. And I have a number of lace patterns in my mental queue, meaning that I've bought or downloaded the patterns but haven't done anything with them yet (see note above about counting points), but in this case I might actually knit them one day. And they're all from the internet: Anne Hanson's Irtfa'a and The Veil of Isis, Luna Moth, Seascape.

So, what's the deal with the traditional publishers? I have the utmost respect for Knitter's because I've been a happy Stitches attendee in years past, but most of the designs in the recent issues seem to come from "the Knitter's Design Team." Where are the designers I want to see? Even the more traditional ones are MIA. VK has always been somewhat "out there," but we read it for the same reason we read Vogue--to see trends. Only IK has made a successful transition to cyberspace, publishing IK Daily and releasing some print patterns to download for a nominal fee. (Frankly, I'd rather pay $5 for a pattern I might actually use than the same $5 for a magazine of stuff that's just laughable.)

Well, here's my theory. First, I think the magazines are so tied to the yarn manufacturers who advertise that they're publishing what the manufacturers want, not what we want. And there's nothing wrong with keeping your advertisers happy--it's just that seeing a truly fugly piece of knitting doesn't make me want to rush out and buy the yarn. And most of the designers doing really innovative work aren't tied to specific yarns or manufacturers. Many of them are using indy yarn or spinning their own. (Hats off to Jackie E-S for that scarf in Spin-Off, called Morning Surf, and hats off to Spin-Off for demonstrating that it looks wonderful, and different, in many different yarns.)

Second, I think most of the magazines are like the monkeys with their hands hands firmly over their eyes, their ears, and their mouths, pretending that Ravelry and internet designs aren't happening. They're hoping that their "loyal" subscribers won't notice either. It all reminds me of the Vonage commercials--the phone company dude saying "the only thing we've changed is our prices," and the young, hip Vonage chick pushing him off the screen.

It reminds me of the other ugly secret: we're buying yarn from the internet, too, and from fiber shows. Now, no one loves her bricks-and-mortar stores better than I, and I am a big supporter of the LYS, but let's face it--we're buying independent yarns from folks who don't sell to the shops. I have a personal rule that says I don't buy something online I could get from a local shop--I'm not about to go online to buy Rowan Kidsilk Haze or Cascade 220--but I'm loving some of the yarns I can't get from them--Miss Babs and Tess, to name two.

I also think that many designers today aren't willing to sign away the rights to their designs--they can see the future and realize that they'll be able to make a lot more money, and get their patterns into the hands of a lot more knitters, by selling their patterns via download than they'll ever realize from the fee they got from the magazine.

We gotta find a happy medium. Because right now, I'm counting pennies and nickels and looking hard at money for magazine renewals. It's nice to have that old issue of Knitter's with the article on short-rowing, but is it worth $5 when I can go to the blogosphere or to YouTube to see 25 videos on short-rowing? I'm definitely considering all the alternatives.

Anyway, I know it's a whine, but just askin'. Ya know what I mean?